The Swamp Hermit's Report

Water Boarding and Abu Ghraib

Posted in Liberalism, National Security, Politics by Karmi on January 6, 2005

How many reading this…how many here reading this have been thru any type of Military Training??? Humble Low and Ignorant Insane swamp hermit me has been thru such in the Army, but am not sure how the Navy does it.

Heck, most civilians have never even heard of the term “Phone Booth”, when it is applied to the Army’s “Captive Training” course, and obviously Ted Kennedy has no clue what some might say that “Water Boarding” is about. From what i am hearing today, “Water Boarding” is a training technique used in the U.S. Navy. Ted Kennedy invented “Automobile Boarding”, and today he dared to ask Alberto Gonzales about “Water Boarding”?!? From what i am hearing, no one dies from “Water Boarding”, but *MANY* die from “Automobile Boarding”…so to speak whilst mentioning “Chappaquiddick”.

OK…i am familiar with the Army’s “Phone Booth”. Basically, it seemed much smaller than any phone booth that i had ever been in, and instead of glass and steel, the Army used a lot of barbwire. Hey, hopefully, humble me can explain such an experience in Dualistic words, whilst trying to talk/write to American civilians like Ted Kennedy!?!

The Army’s “Captive Training” or “Prisoner Training” wasn’t just about a barbwire “Phone Booth”…trust me. The first thing that happens in such a Volunteer Army Course, is that you get your already shaved head of hair shaved again. In any Volunteer Survival Course, they strip you naked first…before shearing you head of hair even shorter than you could imagine. Well, “naked” isn’t exactly the exact term, since they never touch your Army issued *BOOTS*.

Any phone booth is small, but try to imagine being butt-naked (other than your socks and boots), and in such that is surrounded with barbwire. Think that is tough??? Seems like that should be plenty of room, huh. Well, it would be, until the Army added two other Males into that “Phone Booth” with naked you. Where did the Army find bigger Men than me?!? i’m like 6-foot and a couple of inches, and the Army came up with two former University of Miami football players…yes, one from defense, and one from offense.

Fortunately for me, the Army knew what it was doing at this point, and gave humble me some choices. They first stuck the tall big one into the “Phone Booth” with me, and my Penis had two choices…poke barbwire, or poke a former big DE from the University of Miami. Then the Army sent in the “Fireplug”. At least 290 pounds, only 5’ 8”’s tall, but at least 6’ across the shoulders. The Army Trainers then closed the barbwire ‘door’ on our naked arses. Well, naked other than our boots. BTW, it is better to bump peter-heads than to bump barbwire.

Water Boarding and Abu Ghraib”…so to speak. OK, let us now move to what *REAL* Torture is about. BTW, who was that broad that Ted killed with his “Automobile Boarding” training technique??? We might think that Mary Jo Kopechne suffered a horrible death, until we imagined what Abu Ghraib Prison under Saddam was like. Under Saddam, Mary Jo Kopechne would’ve been *RAPED* over and over and over again until Saddams’s rapists grew tired of her, and then they would’ve killed her.

Swåmp Hermî†


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